So I fail at this livejournal thingy. I'm not sure why I even got one. I forget that I got one then I forget my screen name then I get bored with thinking and run away. That what I do...

Speaking of not filling out my FASFA cuz it's too hard, I don't think school is for me. I would love to college and get smart and do all those things that I'm always telling other people to do, but I really don't think it's for me. I think I'm more of a "What kinda pizza can I get ya?" kinda person. Now all I gotta do is find a good pizza place where the boss isn't crazy and where my 2 years of managing a pizza place is enough to MAKE a pizza.

Smarah face leaves for Maine in a couple of weeks. That sucks. Like a lot. I'm gonna miss the crap outta her. Then MAK Attacks goes to Chicago-land. Then Rose goes back to SCAD. Amber already lives in Not-Here world. But ya know what, I'm not gonna whine! I'm big tough Jobot. I can handle my friends going on with their lives and being awesome. Just as long as they know that later when they're famous and rich, I'm living on their couches. Collectively.

Sometimes I wonder how I manage to get myself in to this mess. When I was a young Yooper living with Grams. There was a plan. Always a plan. Finish Elementary school. Go to Middle school/High School in Manastique. Go off to college. College somewhere off in the wild yonder, like Michigan Tech. or Michigan state if I ever got my grades together. Would pack up my life in a car fill off myself and be all college-y. Coming home on holidays and filling up on Pasties. It wasn't the best plan but that was the plan.

Then we moved down here. My life was flipped, but we ajusted the plan. Finish school then go to MSU to be a vet and breed dogs in my free time. That was the new plan. Live in a dorm and go back home to Yooperland for holidays and fill up on Pasties.

I didn't know where that plan went to shit, but we moved here to Ypsilanti and I found the robotics team. Suddenly being a vet the farthest thing from my mind. I wanted to be an Engineer. I wanted to build robots for the rest of my life. I went to high school and build a robot. Got a T-shirt. Went back to Yooperland to get the pasties and suddenly the people I considered my friends from 'home' thought I was lame as hell. "Why would anyone ever want to build robots??" why wouldn't anyone NOT want to build a robot.

That was my new plan. Finish high school. Go to college, but more importantly be a mentor my robotics team. Watch them go from a little unknown team to the National Champions that I know they have in them. Robotics was pushed from a simple after school hobby to my life. There it stayed for years.

I want to blame my focus on Robotics on my lack of focus on the rest of that plan. I forgot that college was supposed to be there after high school. College mentor suddenly became 'College-AGE mentor'. The rookies I was supposed to simply take under my wing for their first year then let them go off and use the knowledge I was supposed to teach them to take on other rookies, suddenly weren't rookies anymore. They were Student Leaders.

I could also try to blame the loss of the plan on my Grams suddenly leaving. Ha. 'Suddenly'. Like I didn't push her away. I wanted to be an adult. I wanted to do my own thing. I lost sight on the plan for me. 'How do I go to college and try to live on my own? I'll just work a year then figure everything out. It's too late this year to get money for college this year. I got a good job. I make money. I still don't know if Engineering is what I want to do. Better take this year to make sure this is what I want.'


So I took the year off. Then tried to go to college. I figured that I could still catch up. That the plan would wait for that year. I wouldn't have to worry. Then it would be good. My plan had gone from going directly from High School to a big college. Then it was starting at WCC then moving to a big college. Now I just want to go to WCC and if I get that done I will have completely my new plan.

Now I take times like now and I look at where I am compared to where I'm SUPPOSED to be. I'm SUPPOSED to be almost done with college. I'm SUPPOSED to be figuring out my career. I'm SUPPOSED to be visiting Yooperland. to get my pasties, damnit. I'm SUPPOSED to mowing lawns cuz it's fun and I love doing it.

No where in that plan did it ever say that I was supposed to be a 21 year old college drop out that lives off my uncle or friends. In debt up to my eyeballs. Mowing lawns cuz I need to get some money so that I can eat without having to make my friends feel like they have to feed me. Hell I'm SUPPOSED to be driving at this point in my life.

Where did my plan change so completely? Where did Robotics become less important to me than a crappy sub making job? Where did I become something that my Grams used to complain to me about? Grams took care of me. Is it my turn to take care of her?

Better question: How the hell do I get you people to even bother to talk to me, let alone sit there and waste your time and read this? I can never get over that one. Maybe it's cuz I let all that whining stay bottled up inside me. Then suddenly I take too much time thinking on one of my famous walks. I sit down and stare at my hound and think about where I fucked up, how I've managed to trick you guys into talking to me, is my mom really coming to see me this weekend, and how did Domino get to be such a sweetheart?

I know where to point the blame for the loss of the plan. It's me. I'm not that stupid where I don't know that everything that I've fucked up in my life is someone else's fault. Hell no. I know that I made my own bed, now I gotta lie in it. The only advice that I can give in my life ever in my life is "Don't do what I did! Go to college. Don't push you're family away. Make a plan. Only change that plan when it is physically impossible or the outcome is something that you truly don't want anymore. DO NOT CHANGE THE PLAN BECAUSE IT IS DIFFICULT."

Look at that whining that I said I wouldn't do. Wow. I hate it when I whine. I feel like most people only want to hang out with me because I'm so...chipper? about everything. I can just throw all the shit that I've done and put it on my shoulder and keep going. I like that I can do that. I really really hate to bother people with how I've messed up my life. You guys have so many better things that you could be doing right. Right? Yeah. You know I'm right. 'sides I know for a fact that there are people that have it a hell of a lot worse than I do.

Enough of this whining bullshit for me. I'm going for a walk and maybe text my mom to see if she really is coming in this weekend or not.



DOMINO SMELLS GOOD RIGHT NOW AND SHE WAS A GOOD DOG IN THE TUB!

Top 10 things about quitting my job!
Time to Watch TV
Sleeeeep
Not having to ride the bus at 6am
No more; Me: "Would you like that on White or Wheat Bread?"
Random Customer: "Yes" Me: "grrr...Wheat?" Customer: "What?"
Did I mention sleep?
Time to play games
No more bosses talking about me behind my back
Time for Robotics
Time to go get a real job!
Time to hang with friends

So I decided to help myself rant in the best possible way, I'm now doing everything in a Top Ten List. At the end, if I feel like it, I will explain each one. They will be what's on my mind whenever I remember and the number of them depend on how much I feel like typing.

Tonight's List:
Top Ten Ways Steve Annoys the Piss outta me and others at work!
10: He's Creepy
9: He's Narrow Minded
8: Hates Everything
7: Bad Sense of Humor
6: Needy for Attention
5: Obnoxiously Religious
4: Hypocritical
3: Repetitive
2: Sexist
And the Top Reason Steve Annoys the Piss outta me: He's Full of Himself


And the Explanations:
10- He's Creepy!! That's really it. Any female that comes into Q-hell he'll hit on. A lot. I've had a woman tell me that she doesn't come in the mornings cuz of him anymore. He'll ask you the stupidest most awkward questions that just make you want to curl in a ball and die...or make him die somehow...CREEPY!

9-If someone says that something is different that he or his pastor says, then it's wrong. End of Story. There is no changing it. I've seen him get in an argument with someone who was studying some sorta space science and Steve was going on about how the textbook was written by a guy and that guy was WRONG! The Bible is right. That's his whole argument. I'll sit around and enjoy a good disagreement where people have something more to say then "you're wrong!".

8- This is kinda like the narrow minded, if it's not something he does or enjoys it's stupid! Robotics, taking pictures, late night Taco Bell runs, going to the movies, sleeping in, EVERYTHING! I like to build robots. That is no secret. But to Steve..."why?! That's stupid. Why would you want to do that? That's stupid and dumb. You're Stupid."

7-Gahh...I hate working with him when he's...well pretty much alive. He finds the stupidest things funny. His favorites include, but aren't limited to: asking who would do something like that (when something isn't done his way), blaming people for everything and anything, repeating stuff, asking questions then interrupting you and saying that he doesn't care, and finally laughing obnoxiously.

6- Gotta be in every conversation everywhere. Will tell you to shut up if you are talking to someone he wants to talk to. Never one to sit around and just be part of the lovely scenery at Q-Hell

5- Ok, I'm not religious and most likely never will be. I respect you're religion or whatnot, but the minute you start shoving it down my throat I'm REALLY not going to like you or your damn religion. Telling me that I'm going to burn in hell everyday isn't the best way to open my eyes, in fact I will most likely close my eyes even harder then. Hmmm...lets see: Burn in hell or live in heaven with you forever....oh the choices.
***Side Note: At my Q-hell we don't have music playing. Nate doesn't let us. We would get in so much trouble if we do. I think Amy had at one point brought her laptop in and got bitched at. WHY THE FUCK IS STEVE ALLOWED TO HAVE HIS CHURCH MUSIC PLAYING SO LOUD THAT YOU CAN HEAR IT ON THE OTHER SIDE OF A THICK DOOR AND THE SOUND BLOCKER OF THE SNEEZE GLASS?! ANSWER THAT AND I WILL GIVE YOU A COOKIE!!!!***

4- Alrighty...here we go. Amy and I are lazy, but you sit on your ass the minute Nate and Gina leave. Your beloved pastor says its bad to steal, but you bring your church friends to get free food AFTER church and take food home everyday(how the fuck did you get friends in the first place?!). You're the only one who does anything around Quiznos, but isn't that Sarah prepping everything while making a sub and I'm doing other prep, pulling food for the next day, and ringing people up while you sit on your ass..still. And I could go on...and on...and fucking on!

3- Steve thinks it's funny to say the same damn things over and over and over and over and over....till you're pretty sure that if you hear "Who does stuff that?" one more time you will just explode. He will get something going and you will hear it every couple of minutes the entire time he's there. Parrots are less annoying. 5-year-olds get bored with repeating faster than him.

2- Sexist son a bitch. Did you know that because God created Man in his image and Women came from a rib from Man, we are supposed to be at Man's side all the time and we can't do nothing. Steve has said countless (believe me COUNTLESS) amount of times how Women have no place in the work place. Also...Sarah and I have no glory. Man's glory is to be the best or something stupid and Woman's glory is their hair. Yep that's right, the only Women have going for us is our Hair. Oh! And Emma and I (I'm not sure 'bout Sarah, never asked) didn't dress up nice for our interview at Q-hell. Yeah, cuz we wore nice shirts and dress-pants we are just stupid women who got outta the kitchen and got lost...silly us. Golly gee, what the hell was I thinking...not wearing a skirt or dress when I was outta the kitchen and not birthing!

1- Well...this one is pretty much complained explain already. Steve's the best at everything. End of story. We can never make a sub like him. I should just kill myself now. sigh. Of course Nate doesn't really help this one. He could do anything and not get in trouble for it. Nate will not fire him or punish him for it ever.

So...if you read the entire thing...Good job. That's my rant. I really don't like Steve, but I feel much better now. I'm not dealing with his shit anymore. I don't need to work at Q-hell that much. It's hell on earth. I'll make more later, now it's time for Stargate!


STEVE'S AN ASS!

Current Music: Nothing But a Good Time- Poison

I hate working....
Someone pay me to watch Stargate, play video games, and go to robotics. I'll work 40+ like I do at the Q hell.

I've got a cold and I can't sleep it off like my body is telling me to. Throw me in front a bus and I'll be happy.


Other than that I'm...uhh...surviving

So I'm a Trekkie... take one look at my trust ol' hat and you will know that I love Voyager through and through. I was looking up random Stargate quotes, (shuddup I'm a dork I know!) anywhos...I end up on gateworld.net looking up cons. Find a link to the upcoming ones and (here's where it connects) found "Star Trek Las Vegas: The Official Star Trek Convention 2008"! The largest Star Trek Con...ever! Every year Star Trek Favorites come and let us Trekkies drool over 'em.
I'm drooling just over who's gonna be there! 6, yes S-I-X, of the 10 major characters from Voyager are gonna be there and they're gonna all be there on the same day. Sure 2 of 'em I've already met, Ethan Phillips and Robert Picardo (Who, by the way, had a reoccurring role on Stargate, which is what lead me to the site in the first place). But, Robert Duncan McNeill (Lt. Tom Paris), Tim Russ (Lt. Tuvok), Garrett Wang (En. Harry Kim) AND KATE MULGREW!! (CAPT. KATHRYN JANEWAY!!!) are all gonna be there. I'm as giddy as a little school girl.
But as I said, it's sadly just a dream, this Trekkie is po'. po' as a mo-fo! Just for the autographs it'll cost $125 for the 4 I don't have on my hat. Not counting a plane ticket, place to sleep, ticket IN to the Con, food, plane home (Cuz I know you lamerfaces would want me to come back or something, not let me live with Star Trek). Someday! Before I die, I swear to all that is Dew and Foamy and Charlie and whatever else is awesome, I will get all the Voyager People on my hat, even if it kills me!
Anyways I just felt I should share my discovers with everyone.

**What did you think I would ever have anything interesting to say about what REALLY happened?! I'm po'! All I do is work and sleep. Oh, I am going up north next Saturday.**

Current Mood: dorky

Hey, wanted a full story here so that I don't have to keep telling everyone:
I went to the ER today. I'm fine. I got oven degreaser in my eye at work. I was cleaning the oven (go figure with oven degreaser,eh?) and the metal scruby thing flicked the degreaser in my left eye. Robotics training kicked in right away. Didn't rub it and flushed it out right away. I went straight to the hand washing sink and started to flush it, while filling the sink and sticking my head in the water. Anne was freaking out calling everyone and their mother. Finally getting ahold of my boss, Nate, and he drove me to ER. Mrs. Perry met me up there and after 4 1/2 hours I saw a doctor. It's red, irrated and I failed the eye test the first time and retook it and was good enough I guess. I got some gunk to put in my eye and should be all good in a few days,eh?

It's the SAME eye that got hit with the coin when I was in 2nd grade.

Lesson Learned: WEAR SAFTY GLASSES ALWAYS!!!!

Just thought I'd let everyone know,eh? Don't worry 'bout tough ol' Jobot. I don't need my eye anyways....

So..I have no idea what's happened since the last time I posted cuz It's been like 600,000 years. I'm living with the Perry's again. I love it here. They feed me and worry about me!! I GOTS ME A JOB!!! Well Anne got me a job, but still!!! Best part of the job: FREE UNLIMITED DEW WHILE I'M THERE!!!!!
Don't worry though, I've already requested Comp. days off so my favorite robotics team won't lose that one mentor of their's...
I'll be able to start paying everyone back. Then in like a year or so I might have some money that I'm able to spend on myself!

Current Mood: excited

I has the internets again!!!
I moved out with the Perry's for who knows how long and they have internet! I'm so happy.
*hugs internet and everyone in it!*

A world where life is better. MUCH BETTER! Listen to me for a moment...or read with me for a moment I guess...
I'm going to speak of a world...like I already said. Well it's more of a place, a place where life is better. Ok, now I'm just repeating myself. Anyways this better place. Everyday is an adventure. A place where no one is homeless. No one is jobless. No one sit around in their messy apartment, just waiting for someone to talk to. A place where no one goes hungry. A place where everyone is accepted no matter what they look like, talk like, or..uh...*thinks of a 3rd one*....smells like? Why not? A place where no matter what you do, you are appreciated. Where you learn, you are loved, you are accepted. Now this place isn't near here...in fact it's not even in this time period. It's 75,000 lightyears away and nearly 400 years in the future. It is of course the USS Voyager.
Once you've stopped laughing at me, I'll tell you my dream. If I was part of the Voyager Crew: I would do anything for Captain Janeway. I would scrub worp coils. Neelix would cook whatever I want. Hell I could help, I would cook pizza for Tom Paris. (he likes them and in an early episode tried to get Neelix to cook one, I don't think he ever gets one though) I would have my own quarters. I'd even talk the Captain to letting me have Domino. I mean Archer got to have Porthos. So why can't I have my hound? I would work for B'Elanna Torres. Be her personal assistant! I would fetch coffee for her or whatever. She said "jump" and I would jump.
Of course there is the slight problem that they did get home in the last episode, but you know what. I kinda don't like that episode anyways. Too rushed. All of a sudden Seven and Chakotay are dating, Tuvok goes insane, and Janeway comes back in time to save them cuz she's old and weirld...Let's just pretend they don't go back with Crazy-Old Janeway and Tuvok doesn't go insane. I don't want anything to Tuvok. I like the friendly banter between him and Neelix.

Hey, so Sunday night my uncle called me and my grandpa had another stroke and passed away. So my mom came and snagged me up and took me back to Yooperland. The strange thing is that I don't really feel anything. I'm just kinda numb about everything. I haven't cried at all. Jobots don't cry. I just sorta stare into space whenever it is called into attention. Worse yet is that I felt bad for breaking my promise to Amber/MAK/Sarah, cuz I bought another pack and am smoking it. I couldn't handle the stress of quitting and all this.
My grandma has been breaking down everyonce in awhile and I'm glad my mom is here cuz I have no idea what to do. If it was anyone of my friends I would be able to say anything, but when she fell into my arms as soon as I got into the door, I froze up. Dealing with friends breaking up, not being able to find "the one" (Not Neo!), homework stress, life stress,ect. All that seems simple and I can find at least some words of some sort of comfort. But my own grandfather and I freeze up like a moron and just wish that I could go home and sleep. I'm really glad that my mom is here, whenever grams cries I kinda hand her off. I really don't know what to do.
I feel like a bad person for not feeling bad or crying or anything. Like I didn't care about him. Which is a complete lie. I loved him. He was my father in every way but blood. He used to wake up with me in the morning and play cards with me. He taught me how to play poker. We would read together. Hell, he was the one who got me into tools and everything.

Current Mood: blank